Just because you care about your students and yearn to see them succeed doesn't mean you don't sometimes chuckle at some of the mistakes they make in their writing. Below are some unintentionally amusing passages from student essays. Each passage is guilty of a forced simile. As any good English tutor (or editor) knows, it's better to use no figurative language than to use it badly.

1. "Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center."
   
   
2. "He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."
   
   
3. "The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease."
   
   
4. "John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
   
   
5. "The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play."

Here are actual statements from auto-insurance forms. Each driver tried to summarize his accident as concisely as possible. While space constraints might have contributed to the poor writing quality, it's undeniable that these hapless souls struggle to express themselves clearly and logically. If their writing reminds you of your own, consider hiring a Prose Wizard editor, writing coach or tutor:

1) I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. 

2) The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

3) The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran him over.

4) I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

5) An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. 

6) I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some cows.